Thursday, 13 August 2009

• "Trollies come from acorns!"

  

  A troll is a person (hemhem... or bot) who posts inflammatory, argumentative or offensive content without provocation for the specific purpose of pissing people off and getting a reaction. Idle Hands.

  This of course does mean that every person who is *mean to you* is a troll. Nor do most trolls mean you any harm. Trolling is done for the sake of boredom more often than not, and if you ignore, block or refuse to be angered they leave soon enough. But be warned, starting a fight with a troll can lead to battles of epic proportions, and should your troll enemy be one of the particularly menacing variety you may find yourself outwitted, outworded and outwinded. Not to mention slightly singed. Do not EVER argue topics of politics, religion, sex, or videogame play with a troll.

  The main difference between a troll and your average malcontent is that a troll is there for his/her/it's masters own amusement. In the case of bots, one lowly person with minimal computer abilities decided to unleash a mindless little brainchild in order to annoy the community en masse. A troll doesn't want to fight, or prove you wrong, or even make you look stupid, they don't have any particular affiliation to one belief or another, but may pretend to in order to create discontent. They just want to play more often than not. Beware of teeth, though.

  

  If you do decide to indulge a troll, or react in any way, be aware that other trolls may begin to swarm. In the right environment Trolls thrive in groups. They are very social creatures and with the right incentive may be coaxed into normal dialogue. Chocolate is the preferred method of coaxing.

  However, a troll once tamed is still not your pet. These creatures are very destructive, prone to fits on anger and depression (whichever receives the most reaction). Do not give a troll, even the most well behaved troll, your email or any way to contact you. Trolls will follow you home and once they're onto your scent they are notoriously hard to shake off.

  Lets review. Trolls post for the distinct purpose of gaining reactions, not because they believe what they're saying but because they hope you will disagree. Name calling is an act permissible from trolls. People who disagree with you are not trolls by definition. Do not argue philosophy with a troll. Though trolls may appear nice, they do not make good housepets, and should be approached with caution. And lastly...

  Trolls are people too. Don't take them too seriously. ;)

  

  One day they might be you.

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